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What a witty response.

I don't care about reddit. I want to know the stories of our community.

i just recently had a bad one :(

tell us capslockman. I would love to hear it.

You ask for bad date stories, but you haven't shared anything yet.

As for me, there was one time i tried to fuck this girl in my car. But she didn't want to do it in the backseat because "it went agaisnt her morals" or some stupid shit like that.

We sat there in kind of an awkward silence for a few mins. Then she tells me to whip it out. So, I'm thinking we're about bang, but nope. She asked me to jack it in front of her.

Edit: took at place at a gas station parking lot at night.

Welp, that's my story.

WTF REEMIX... Did she even help, or did you have to shoot your baby batter in her eye?

She wasn't gonna do anything. She just wanted to watch me jack off.

My jimmies sure were rustled.

God that's cold. Hoth cold.

Not a first date story, but awkward as fuck nonetheless.

My Mom brought her boyfriend, who flew in from Florida, to the house to meet my brother and I. He was a pretty cool guy. Later on my girlfriend came by to hang out, and it became incredibly fucking awkward.

"Hey this is my boyfriend."
"Hey this is my girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you."
"Yeah, you too."

Those were basically the only things said before I suggested we get the fuck out. NOTHING would be more awkward than going on a double date with your Mom and her boyfriend.

REEMIX wrote:

You ask for bad date stories, but you haven't shared anything yet.

As for me, there was one time i tried to fuck this girl in my car. But she didn't want to do it in the backseat because "it went agaisnt her morals" or some stupid shit like that.

We sat there in kind of an awkward silence for a few mins. Then she tells me to whip it out. So, I'm thinking we're about bang, but nope. She asked me to jack it in front of her.

Welp, that's my story.

shes worried about going black and not being able to go back

Had a really bad swap with my best friend in HS his g/f and mine. Basically the dumbass tried to use the same condoms as me and his fell offf while fucking her.

Forever alone.

Here we go, I think I have a pretty good one. It was during my third year of high school. I used to have a friend who his sole life was revolving around dating girls. When the story happened I was no longer a friend with him because one time he punched me in the faced because I accidentally threw a snowball in his face. Anyway, one of the girls he was flirting called me one day and wanted to see me, and she had a friend that was free. So we setup a meeting at her her house to make something happen (I remember bringing my skateboard and telling myself that I would go skate the ramp nearby if it gets boring). Here I am, meeting her for the first time ever, she's there with her friend (which had a boyfriend). We get to meet and start drinking a bit. After a while the dude with that other girl disappeared and I'm now alone with her. It's been a long time so I don't remember what started this event but that girl start freaking out and runs around, she grabs a knife and run outside in a small child house, I follow her and take the knife out of her hands. She says she want to kill herself. We start chatting and she said that she's craving for a cigarette but she doesn't have any. I go inside and steal a pack from the parents who lived in that house. We keep chatting and she start telling me that she can't find a boyfriend (she went to a girl school, I guess that made it hard for her to meet boys) and feels like nobody likes her. That's where she ask me to kiss her, which I did and that made her really happy. Her mood changed a bunch and we kept chatting a bit. We go back inside and the girl and guy are there. She start telling them we kissed and she grabs me and kiss me again, she tasted like cigarette and wasn't doing it right either.

A bit later we get a call from my old bud. I start talking with him a bit and I ask him how he's doing (awkward moment). He start telling me that he's super high, he then tells me that he's deeply in love with the girl who already have a boyfriend. I tell him that she's taken now and he start to have a breakdown, he tells me that he wants to die and will jump off his garage and breaks his neck. I tell him to hold on. I call my mother and try to explain her to go look over my old friend's house (which is 2 house away from mine) to check if everything's alright. It was kind of hard for me to send my mom over so I try to explain her what's going on. The bad part is that I was getting myself in a bad situation since my grand uncle was home for a diner and I had to make an excuse to leave home early. It was very awkward to tell her what was going on. Anyway, after that I left, I guess I had enough.

That story is quite epic, never really told it to anyone until now. I even wonder if my mind is making this up or I really lived that because the probabilities these things happened all at the same time are so low. Anyway, that's it. That's my bad first date story. Also, no wonder why that girl had problems to get somebody to love her, she was pretty nuts!

This was when I didn't have a computer, my life was more chaotic.

*Edit: fixing the chronology and some errors.

I liked the part when ____ happened and then she threatened to kill herself haha

one time I was gonna go on a date but then I realized the person was joking
I then went home and masturbated
the end

last summer i went on a date with this cute russian girl in one of my classes. she was REALLY into dancing. so we went downtown, and lo and behold, there was a HUGE brazillian dancing show thing right in the middle of the street, and it turns out she loves brazillian dancing and actually did a few years of it. so after dancing for like half an hour, she's having lots of fun and she says "oh ma gawsh that was so fun! did you plan to run into this?"

what the fuck did my stupid ass say in response? "no lol"

every year i realize how stupid i was the year before.

Haha these are awesome. I love hearing stories like these. Especially cinq's saga of the crazy girl with a knife who guilted him into kissing her. That is crazy!

Okay here's mine.

A couple summers back this girl I hadn't seen since 2nd grade finds me through a mutual friend on Facebook. We'll call her Rachel. She sent me a message on Facebook and I remember replying in amusement, and as this goes on for a couple days we figure out a lot we have in common. A few days go by and I decide she's cool enough that I might actually want to meet her, so I plan this bike ride date on this really nice trail in my town. So she drives to my house, I load the bikes up in the bed of my truck, and I drive us across town to the bike trail.

The bike ride went fine, we talk about a lot of interesting stuff, and I see no red flags which is rare because I have terrible luck meeting sane women. As we are driving across town to go back to my house my dumb ass runs a red light. It was like a very well established red light too, not a fresh one. But actually I didn't even do it on purpose. It was a complete accident. You see, I'm just so stupid that I can't talk and drive at the same time. :[

So this female cop pulls me over, comes to my window, and is basically like, "You realize you just blatantly ran a red light, right?" I play the honesty card and admit that yes I realized it but I didn't mean to at all. The cop takes my license and stuff to her squad care to start checking me out in the database etc. Meanwhile the level of embarrassment I am experiencing at this moment with this girl in my truck was unbearable. I'm apologizing and trying not to look like the idiot I truly am. The girl was actually really sweet and made me feel like she didn't think I was retarded.

After awhile of sitting there the cop comes back to my window and says, "You're 21 and your driving record is completely clean? Let's keep it that way." And she drives away. My jaw dropped into my lap. I totally did not expect that terrible situation to turn for the better. Still, it was pretty embarrassing for me to get pulled over on a first date.

So that is my bad date moment that had a happier ending.

Also I later discovered that Rachel was a crazy and now I never talk to her at all.

i've never been on a date

Man, one of my first dates ended up at a fucking computer game tournament at a shitty hotel with all these creepy dudes in red jerseys staring at me. Hurr.

Seriously though, these stories are fucked up. Can I apologize on behalf of crazy bitches everywhere? The knife one has to be the best, what in the fuck.

I can honestly say that I haven't had any bad first dates. Most of mine involved sushi, and nothing can go bad when good sushi is involved. :D

ibuprofen wrote:

what the fuck did my stupid ass say in response? "no lol"

I'd +frag this twice if I could.

After a casual lunch date, the girl suggests that we go listen to some good organ music. Not wanting to be contrary, I agree... only to find out that it's at the Church of Science that she attends.

Not offence to any Christian Scientists, but damn that was awkward.

My very first date was as a freshman in high school and the girl's parents wouldn't let her go out with me without them there, so when we went to get lunch together they were in the next table over and it was pretty terrible.

She was pretty Catholic, so I guess that's why.

The last first date I went on was pretty awkward. It was just normal, and then her friend called and needed a place to stay the night. So we picked him up and went back to her place. We all hung out on the couch playing games, but I started falling asleep. What woke me up? The sound of my own fart! Then I hear the dude like "dude, did he just fucking shit himself?"

Needless to say, I pretended it didn't wake me up for ten minutes while they were laughing at me, and then denied it all when I "woke up"

synchro wrote:

My very first date was as a freshman in high school and the girl's parents wouldn't let her go out with me without them there, so when we went to get lunch together they were in the next table over and it was pretty terrible.

She was pretty Catholic, so I guess that's why.

Same story for me except it was her grandparents and they wouldn't stop glaring at me.

Fuck.

I met this one girl on facebook during highschool. We started talking and we seemed to have a lot in common, so it was easy to have decent conversations. So we decided to do our version of a "cliche first date": dinner and a movie. I take her to the always classy Olive Garden. Dinner's going fine until about halfway through the meal she starts bawling her eyes out. I try to ask her whats wrong, but she wont stop crying. Every single table is looking at us. I have no idea what to do. And as sudden as it began, she stopped crying. I ask her if she wants to talk about it, and she says "No, it's nothing really."

So the rest of the dinner is kinda awkward, as everyone is giving us glances across the room. But we get done and leave the restaurant, heading to the movie. As I park in front of the theatre, she leans over and kisses me on the cheek. I look over and shes smiling. A very different look from when she was crying. But we go into the movies holding hands. Im thinking everything is going so well, I start to forget about the dinner incident. We watch the movie (Push I think) holding hands. Movie ends and we decide to chill in the lobby for a bit to talk. That goes fine. We leave and I start driving her home. Its a pretty far drive, about 30-45 mins. Everythings still fine. We're talking and listening to some tunes. When all of a sudden she starts crying her eyes out again. I didnt understand because I thought the night was going pretty smoothly. I try to console her but she's unresponsive. After she stops crying, its the longest drive of my life.

We finally get to her place and I walk her up to her door. I give her a hug, but she starts to kiss me (I love when a girl makes the first move). So after we kiss, she asks when we'll see each other next. I told her Im always free, so whenever. I say goodbye and start walking away. I barely heard it at the time, but under her breathe she said "I love you". I didnt really hear her so I keep walking to my car, not turning back. As Im driving home, I get a text from her asking why didnt I say that I love her back. I politely respond saying that even though I had a good time, we arent even going out and that I dont take the word love lightly. She starts telling me all these things like how we were meant to be together and that shes wants to be with me forever. Im still being polite, telling her that stuff is way too serious for people who just met in person for the first time. She then tells me why she was crying. Apparently during dinner, she had her period. Which ruined her plan of us having sex that night so we could have a child together. I start losing it at that point, asking her what in her right mind would give her a crazy idea like that. She starts going off on me, that I am denying our love and all this shit. I tell her straight up I dont love her and she should probably seek therapy. She continues to go off on me, trying to call me as well. I ignore all of this, tell her to never talk to me again. I deleted her off of facebook.

Over the next few days I get really long texts from her about the same shit. Voicemails too. Eventually she stops, and holy fuck am I relieved. Anyway about a year later I find out through fb she has a kid with some guy. I keep thinking to myself that that guy could of been me. Thank fucking god it wasnt.

disengage wrote:

Fuck.

Wow dude, that's straight out of some terrible movie. You got lucky she didn't break into your house one night to collect her "father genes".

disengage wrote:

Fuck.

I don't even have a reaction GIF on my computer that is an appropriate enough response to that story.

disengage wrote:

Fuck.

THIS STORY IS EXACTLY WHAT DISNEY AND THE NOTEBOOK DO TO THE MINDS OF YOUNG IMPRESSIONABLE GIRLS.

Bad first date...

After dinner she goes down on me for a bit, then says "That's all you get unless you're staying the night." We're in bed, and she says, "Before we go any further there's something you should know... I have herpes." Shit happens and the honesty is appreciated, but the timing was terrible. She turned out to be crazy anyways.