B4nny denies Christ accusations
By: Greed
July 7, 2012
With the largest tf2 lan to date just around the corner, b4nny steps up in a one on one interview with us to deny all Christ accusations. “I am not Christ,” Says bAnny in a calm sweet voice. “It’s just coordinated spam that I have perfected through my own hard work.”
B4nny has always vehemently denied all accusations of Christ like powers. he reported, “These aren’t miracles im pulling off, they are much more than that, these are b4nny pipes.”
According to b4nny, during this last season’s 4 kill sticky trap on mid against Mihaly’s Flow, he did not hear a voice from the heavens. “These allegations of a super human involvement are inane and baseless, motivated by no other than cbear and djc to create a god like aura around myself” B4nny said. “ It went far beyond the mystical, this was more than just a miracle pipe, this was a union of pipe and medic, and union between myself and the other teams destruction.”
Close friend Tyrone “enoryt” Wang says keeping up with b4nny is no easy feat. “He will push you to be more than you think you could ever be” I remember on granary when I overextended to garage causing b4nny to get caught out of position.” B4nny visibly stood up with his hands out and said, “Tyrone, why hast thou forsaken me?!” “When he said that, it hit me hard, I knew I had to get my shit straight.”
B4nny’s reign began back in season 3 with slaughterhouse gaming, where he single handedly showed the tf2 community that demos didn’t need to rely on rollers to get kills.
Tf2 fans eagerly await the display of b4nnys “jesus pipes,” during the i46 lan. A crowd favorite, in the patented move, B4nny shoots his more than average pipe grenades across entire middles of comp maps, they miraculously ascend towards the heavens with no end in sight. An accompanying angelic choir momentarily stuns the opposing medic as the pipe comes down crashing into an uber ready enemy defense. The famous Jesus pipe has wowed audiences far and wide since its debut in season 7 taking out complexities TheFragile during the Lan finals.
A three time Lan champion (7,9,11), B4nny constantly impresses in day to day scrims, ultiduo challenges, demo reviews, and his overwhelming love for all mankind. Tf2 critic Mustardoverlord comments, “aside from his ability to excel in tf2, b4nny is no pushover in real life, with his Repunzel like magical golden hair, and his dashing good looks, b4nny’s future as an international male model has been set.”
**Tune in next week as we explore Namlays great achievment: “Im not a 19 year old virgin anymore, tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow im turning 20.”**
Last edited: Sun, 08 Jul 2012, 12:29am by Gr33d
