Powah Brazilian Citizenship Revoked
July 8, 2012
Following dozens of complaints from noobs in the Brazilian leagues and numerous seemingly impossible 5 kill streaks, the Brazilian national authority announced today that Powah will have his Brazilian citizenship revoked as well as a 5 year ban from ever entering the country. Earlier this July, a Brazilian court judge ruled Powah undeserving of his Brazilian citizenship, saying that the brazilians actions were “worse than treason.” “Its not treason if you win,” Powah responded vehemently This move will ultimately lead to his deportation from the country.
This 5 year ban came after a large butthurt Brazilian named dem0 convinced Brazilian league admins that Powah was using hacks and that the matches were rigged. After further demo review, Powah was then arrested and subdued shamelessly in public with no shoes on. According to police reports, Powah became verbally abusive and started maniacally throwing bananas at nearby pedestrians while simultaneously yelling “meatshot.”
Powahs drama escapades have not been limited to hacking. Earlier this season, Ms.BlackDynamite was cut from IM championship team MAD MEN for allegedly being too much black for the team. When Mad Men captain Unf was questioned on the matter, he retorted, claiming that they were honoring black history month and that namlay was another big consideration for them. “The light shines half as bright on two people,” Unf said.
Despite never having travelled anywhere farther than 4km outside his small town of Santa Maria in southern Brazil, Powah said “I love Brazil, there is no place like home and im going to miss it huehuehue.”
The case of unfortunate 113 pound Powah is much unlike his Ametrine and Hoegie counterparts. The latter two were caught blatantly hacking 17 times over the course of three seasons. When lead ESEA admin Joey “Killing” O was asked about the verdict of the two hackers, he responded saying that Hoegie and Ametrine have been freed of all charges for simply, “having the balls to plead innocent.”
Powerless Powah Protesters took to the disheveled underdeveloped streets of Ole Santa Maria with the hopes of discovering the real reason why the Brazilian was banned. The hue-mongous turn out forced government spokesperson Jimmy Bananers to give a public statement explaining their reasons for the ban. “His sensitivity is too high to be that accurate,” Bananers said.
When offered a transatlantic flight to a country of his choice for deportation, Powah proudly responded with, “just give me some shoes and bananas, ill walk.” Meanwhile, earlier this morning, famous circus owner Defy Doe tweeted, “the clown is coming to town.”Could this be a triumphant time in US history? Will Powah join the American community? Time will only tell.